This Means War
This is the kind of movie that tries too hard to cater to the mainstream audience. It’s a romance, comedy, spy, thriller, and suspense film all in one. Now that’s fine, if it was intentional. Unfortunately, the film kills any possible chance of making this work. This Means War is literally declaring war in its audience.
This film is dying to be a summer blockbuster. It looks expensive enough to be so. Not to mention it got a good set of actors to join in. Now why couldn’t they find something interesting about these people? This Means War deals with two spies (Chris Pine and Tom Hardy) who are best friends. Maybe too close. In fact in one scene at an anniversary party where they talk about getting old with a girl, I think Hardy was trying to ask Pine out to dinner.
The focus of the story is both of their lust for a young woman (Reese Witherspoon) who feels obvious that a man wrote her part. She seems sweat, but too much like something every guy would want out of her. Everything that they show about her, I have seen in every other film already. A girl who is unimpressed about a very expensive dance club? Seen that millions of times.
This movie is the equivalent of middle school boys fighting over a girl they like. Once both spies realize that they are dating the same girl, they engage in the biggest waste of spy equipment ever. They use surveillance technology to spy on her movements, record her conversations, and even breaking into her home to get clues about her. This just makes the story very creepy. Director McG really though that this would be charming?
If these spies are the two best from the CIA, I would please like to be deported to Canada. These spies go far as to make other men help spy on her. Does the CIA have nothing better to do? A war in Afghanistan? Maybe trouble in another country? How about an alien invasion? Just something else then stalking a pretty girl.
I may have already found one of the worst movies of the year. Despite some good action scenes and a few jokes that work, the entire movie just can’t find any charm in it’s story or characters. McG really needs to end his career.
Lets give this movie 1 out of 5 paint granades. This Means War can't even establish a simple war between two people. There are better spy comedies out there. Skip this one.