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The Watch

Posted by admin on July 29, 2012


Why do we join clubs? This is supposed to be our chance to interact with others that have the same interest. I think most of us try this in order to make new friends. Maybe the friends you have don’t have any curiosity for your hobby. I know people that are into live action role-playing since their buddies don’t understand. Or could it be you don’t have any friends? The meeting they attend could be their last resort. Even if it’s an Alcoholics-Anonymous meeting, I think that we all could use a new friend every now and then. The point of most clubs isn’t to talk about you hobby (mostly); it’s to shoot the shit and relax.

Most communities have a program called the Neighborhood Watch. They’re pretty much rent a cop wannabes that occasionally check up on disturbances and mostly use this time to socialize. I know little about this, as my neighborhood doesn’t have one of these. We rely on our good old boys with the badges. That is something that Ben Stiller doesn’t really understand in his latest comedy, The Watch. He joins up with Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, and Richard Ayoade to save their little town.

What follows is about an hour and forty-five minutes of little story, and mostly vulgarity. Ben Stiller plays Evan Trautwig; a local Costco manager who constantly creates local groups, as he has no friends of his own. Vince Vaughn is Bob Finnerty; a contractor who has a sticky relationship with his teenage daughter and would rather escape his suburban lifestyle. Jonah Hill is Franklin; a mentally unstable man who wants to be a cop, but is rejected for the same reason. Finally, Richard Ayoade, is a recently divorced man who has just moved in and is looking to give back to the community. What should be a comic fantasy turns into a nightmare.

Even forms the neighborhood watch, to solve the murder of a Costco employee. What surprises me is how unfrightened the rest of the town is, as it is the first murder they’ve ever had. I’d be as mad as he is, but I feel nothing for Even as he has to be one of the biggest jerks I’ve seen on film. I can see why he has no friends. The friends he tries to make are constantly uttering references to something sexual or their own testicles. Is that that movie’s motto? Hope that just saying balls will generate a laugh. What doesn’t help is that the movie turns into an alien film by the second half. Did they just copy the aliens from District 9?

Based on the climax inside the store, the movie almost seems like a commercial for Costco. Even during the big explosion where vitamin water, condoms, and videogames are tossed around, the movie is literally throwing their products at us. What surprises me is that there were four very funny guys in this movie, yet none of them could see how generic and unfunny this movie was going to be. The Watch will forever go down as the anti-Ghostbusters.


I’ll give this one and a half goops of green slime out of five. This movie only makes me want to rely on the police more. This neighborhood watch failed to find funny lines and would rather have a beer then do anything. All I can say is… buy Costco…I guess.



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