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Movie 43

Posted by admin on January 31, 2013


You know what eleven-year-old boys love? Dumb jokes that either have poop or language in it. I had friends that acted this way. I was even once in that state. It’s nobody’s fault anyway, that’s just something boys love. The grosser the joke, the funnier we thought it was. Thankfully, I eventually out grew that stuff for something more sophisticated; humor that actually has thought in it. It’s just a part of growing up and the maturity that comes with it that I realize that some things I thought were cool were just gross. Don’t tell me you once laughed at a fart when you were a kid.

It is said that comedy is harder to write then drama. I can say it’s true because it all has to come naturally. I really don’t have a twelve-step plan for someone to be funny. All I can recommend is speaking from the core of what they find humorous and show it in an entertaining way. If there was a guide on how to not be funny, then this movie would be it. Movie 43 is barley a movie, let alone an actual thought. I don’t even know where to begin.

Movie 43 starts in Hollywood where a crazy screenwriter named Charlie (played by Dennis Quad) is trying to pitch his story to an executive named Griffin (played by Greg Kinnear). His story is the bulk of the movie where he goes into great detail about how his next movie will be the greatest comedy. Each part of his pitch is broken into several segments.

The segments are filled with one of the largest ensemble casts ever which include, Halle Berry, Gerard Butler, Anna Faris, Hugh Jackman, Johnny Knoxville, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Seann William Scott, Emma Stone, and Kate Winslet. It’s interesting to note that in order to acquire all these people, this movie has been shot over the course of three years. The point of each segment is to showcase a short story, and to be as disgusting as possible. One story involves Elizabeth Banks trying to kill an animated cat owned by Josh Duhamel. Another involves Kate Winslet dating a single Hugh Jackman who was born with his balls on his neck. There’s even one involving Chloe Grace Moretz who gets her first period and her boyfriend thinks she’s dying. I can't even describe the worst one as I’m not even sure it’s legal to even discuss this in the state of California.

The worst is not the unfunny gross-outs that are completely racist, sexist, homophobic, gross, disgusting, awful, fuming, unrefined, dreadful, unappealing, and just plain sick. The worst is the fact that all these actors are in it, thus supporting Movie 43. This many people in Hollywood cannot be this alienated and dumb to know that this is the kind of movie you only see once in a lifetime; a movie that could have destroyed their careers. Maybe I can believe that it looked funny on paper, but did they not say these jokes out loud and think this might be stupid? This is also the kind of movie that makes me hard to believe that this came from the brain stems of the Farley brothers, who produced this piece of garbage.



I’ll give this zero screenplays wiped on someone’s ass out of five. This is the kind of motion picture that’s not even so bad it’s good. It’s just unenjoyable and unpleasant through out. Movie 43 will go alongside Howard the Duck and Garbage Pail Kids as one of the worst movies ever. 


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