Halloween remains a favorite part of my childhood. This day of the year gave me a break from my ordinary school life, and created the chance for me to become someone else. So I might have dressed up like the ghostface killer from Scream and go out with my parents. Or I had another year where I went out as Charlie Chaplin and I trick and treated with my friends. The night would not stop, as I would roam from home to home, getting little candies that would keep me up all night. As an adult, I have yet to found a way to recapture that child-like hallo’s eve spirit. Those days may never come back, but they were fun.
Whenever people associate Halloween with film, they think of Horror films. Occasionally, they’ll be something like Hocus Pocus and The Nightmare Before Christmas to show another side of the day, but Halloween is an open opportunity. There is a great chance to show the lighter face of the night (not to mention the great joke they could get from vandalizes, cops, and sugar overdosed children) Nickelodeon has stepped in to bring us this Halloween story, Fun Size. This movie is anything but fun, no matter how small it claims to be.
Nickelodeon was something I once watched, but I eventually grew out of it, but ill still drop in for a visit. I have witnessed the network getting worse with their programing and film. Fun Size has just become the nail on the coffin for Nickelodeon movies. Never have I seen something that is not just stupid, but entirely insulting to the intelligence of children, teenagers, and adults all in one film. Though advertised as a family film, this film is nothing more then awful for children. How does teen sex, humping chickens, kidnapping and high scholars with loaded weapons sound? And how about a nine year old with firecrackers?
So the film is about young teenage girl Wren (played by Victoria Justice) who is forced to take her little brother Albert trick or treating. This causes her plans to go to a party with her friend to fail. Things go worse for her when she looses Albert in a haunted house and gets lost in a sea of costumed children. They call upon a nerd, Roosevelt (played by Thomas Mann) to use his car to help them find Albert.
This film is the poster movie to hate Halloween. This movie is under an hour and fifteen minutes, but feels like an eternity. The actors themselves look bored, including a obviously uninterested Chelsea Handler and Johnny Knoxvile (who seems to be the only one having fun). I’m guessing half of the teenagers in this film are just working off speeding tickets. Not one joke works in this so-called comedy, and the only sentimental moment about Wrens recently deceased father is ruined by a dumb end credits joke. It’s like Fun Size is insulting you all the way to the end. Though I fear this movie as it would make children stupid, most of them in my theater seemed bored. This Halloween treat was filled with a poison that’s so lethal that I would rather swallow a razor blade then sit through this one again.
I’ll give this half a razor blade found in candy out of five. Never have I felt so ashamed about myself. Nickelodeon has clearly given up with their movies.