Escape From Planet Earth
One of the biggest problems I find at movie theaters is that there are not enough family films. As a Disney fan, I believe that by being careful in the direction a movie goes, it can be enjoyed as a whole family feature, not just for children. I’ve never considered Disney movies “kids” movies. But the gap can run for several months before a great family film will arrive in theaters. I can understand why a lot of filmmakers are scared to try this territory. So a studio will try to fill the gap with a half-assed movie that’s strictly to cash in. A lot of them will either dumb down a lot of the jokes hoping that kids won’t understand that their not funny and feel like they don’t have to give their best effort.
Whenever I have to sit through these film, I keep wondering if the people that made these movie even saw the dallies before releasing it. They know how to make movies, but do they even understand how good ones work? Pixar is the master at crafting animated movies that everyone likes. Their stories are well developed, the animation is breathtaking and the talent is always on par with the product. But if you ever saw Escape from Planet Earth, you would probably wonder if the people behind it even ever saw a Pixar movie.
The story here starts at the distant planet Baab (planet bob as pronounced; this joke has been done is hundreds of space stories!), two brothers have teamed up as the space exploration people for the alien population. Scorch Supernova (played by Brendan Fraser) is the hero astronaut while his brother Gary Supernova (played by Rob Corddry) works behind the scenes as his mission control captain. Despite the fact that Gary’s gotten his brother through many missions, Scorch disobeys just to look cool (even when no one else can see).
A fight about this causes Gary to quit and for Scorch to go on his latest mission alone. The mission sends him to the faraway world called “The Dark Planet”. He finds himself on Earth and gets himself captured by the army to be sent to Area 51. Gary regrets his fight and sets out to rescue his brother. He to finds himself taken to Area 51, where he’s jailed with other aliens. They include Doc (played by Craig Robinson), Thurman (played by George Lopez), and Lo (played by Jane Lynch). They team up to uncover a deadly plan from General Shankar (played by William Shatner) that could destroy their home planets. Can the brothers make up and stop the evil humans?
I can tell that Escape From Planet Earth is trying the best to get a laugh out of it’s audience. But it seems to think that it’s audience is five year olds that have eaten too much candy. This movie is another movie that is nothing but constant noise throughout. There is always talking, music playing, or sound effects playing over. It never takes time to slow down. By not having any slow moments, kids don’t get the chance to learn how to appreciate atmosphere and know patience.
If that wasn’t annoying enough, the writing is just terrible. Escape From Planet Earth has a lot of comic talent, but none of the funny can get through a bad script. There aren’t just constant bad jokes (don’t worry, there’s hundreds of them!) but a lot of the characters are just too mean spirited. Scorch Supernova is so cocky, so stupid, and so arrogant; he takes the gold in “Dumbass of the Year”. The aliens are mean, the humans are mean, and even Gary’s son never gives a rest about wanting to be just like his stupid uncle. Everyone does learn their lesson, but it leads to another problem. The story addresses the importance of working with family, but it never looks at the fact that it just told it’s audience that being smart will get you bullied.
I’ll give this one scorched planet out of five. Decent animation can’t cover bad jokes and bad morals. Through the ninety minute running time, I just wanted to escape from Escape from Planet Earth.