Written by Robert Nickerson The awesome Deadpool!
Hey you! Yeah, you! What are you doing reading this and not at the movies right now watching Deadpool? I’ve had to wait through two decades worth of comics and that god-awful X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie in order to get my own spin off (who through that quieting me, the merc with a mouth, was a great idea?). I’m even using one of my super powers that allows me to talk to you, the readers (which the other X-Men see as schizophrenia in the world of the comics). Go spend money. Go eat some popcorn. Give more money to 20th Century Fox so that I can get a sequel!
I bet your wondering what’s my deal. Besides that fact that I can heal faster then that tool Wolverine, I hold nothing back as I cut and kill all people I hate (which might be everyone, so I may be looking at you!). Guns, swords, my hands; as long as I get the job done. But I love cracking jokes that this other critic, Robert Nickerson, is no where near talented enough to make. So now that we’ve had our little pow wow, let’s get into what my movie Deadpool shows about me!
Wade Wilson (played by Ryan Reynolds, that guy from Van Wilder) is a mercenary who’s no hero, but he’s willing to stop stalkers. He’s a crack up and makes some good jokes, but the sick ones haven’t arrived yet. While meeting with his friend, bar owner Weasel (played by T.J. Miller, nerd), he meets the hooker with a heart of gold, Vanessa (played by Morena Baccarin, super hot!). The two become attracted to each other with their similar backgrounds and sexual interests and seems to be a good couple. Things go wrong for Wade when he finds to have cancer everywhere.
To cure his cancer, he undergoes an experiment as run by Francis Freemen (played by Francis Freeman, tool). Wade is submitted to days of torture and medical injections of a serum. His mutation of healing is triggered in an oxygen chamber, but it makes his complexion disfiguring. He manages to escape, but can’t manage to face Vanessa with his new look. Hoping to find Francis, he become a masked vigilante to now be called Deadpool. He attacks various syndicates, hoping to find a cure for his ugliness, with the help of two X-Men trying to recruit him, Colossus (the real Iron Giant) and Negasonic Teenage Warhead (coolest name ever!)
Deadpool is finally the right movie for a guy like myself. Like my comics, the movie allows me to go full force with as much blood and splattered limbs as possible. I have no clue what Ryan Reynolds was meant for, but letting him play me is a match made in heaven. I usually don’t care for him as an actor (did you see him in Green Lantern?), but his snarkiness really works o his advantage. He plays me as an unpredictable force, and that’s fine by me!
Story wise, Deadpool is a revenge story, but it also works as a good introduction for me. Those that don’t know will be surprised to find a love story. But aside from that kissy-boo-boo business, action fans will get their kick. Colossus and Negasonic Tennage Warhead are both welcome into the world of the uncanny X-Men. If I had to say anything negative about my movie is that that villain is weak. He may be an evil British guy, but I’ve seen this guy in too many movies before. And as much as I joke about superhero formulas, mine does succumb to some of them. The good news from that is if I get a sequel (I’ll probably get it), the formula has now gotten out of the way in order to really go at it next time around (shall we call it Deadpool Rides Again?).
I’ll give my movie four me’s out of five. Deadpool is an awesome, violent, and very meta antihero story that most people will see as a welcome change to the over saturated Marvel line up. Take your friends but leave the kids at home (or take them anyway, I don’t care!).