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A Haunted House

Posted by admin on January 15, 2013

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If Dax Sheppard was one actor I can’t stand, then another I also can’t comprehend is Marlon Wayans. It’s not that he’s not talented, but he always seems to choose crass over the development of actual jokes. I know that his TV show with his brother has a cult following, but I haven’t seen it. Scary Movie was actually one of the first R rated movies I saw, and that was during the sixth grade when I was spending the night over at a friends house. I’ll admit that I laughed, but that’s because I was a lot younger. The constant “in your face” and poo jokes made me laugh. It was immature, but that’s what kids like.

Now as a grown adult, I’ve grown out of them. Crass humor seems more arrogant then anything. I t’s more of an excuse for comedians to brag about what they don’t have. There are some exceptions, but I rarely see it work. Given the time between the sixth grade and now, I would have hoped that the Wayans Brothers have realized that they have aged too and would want to find a new way to tell jokes. That was asking for too much. What I got was much of the same in A Haunted House.

After failing with White Chicks and Little Man, Marlon Wayans has decided to go back to his roots with a spoof off of the Paranormal Activity franchise. It’s a not a bad decision, if they were to take advantage of the found footage style. But rather then finding a grown man that is ready to get back into the world of comedy with fresh jokes, I got an immature child that wants to keep same kind of stuff before. Not only was I disappointed with the movie but I actually found myself embarrassed with enjoying his previous films.

If you really need to know the story, it starts with Malcolm Johnson (played by Marlon Wayans) who is getting his house ready for the arrival of his girlfriend. As soon she arrives, something spooky is floating in the shadows. She later reveals that she traded her soul for a pair of heels (there’s an idea for a joke, but the delivery was awful). So they call in a psychic, Chip (played the ever creepy Nick Swardson), a security man, Dan (played by David Koechner) and even a gangsta priest (played by Cedric the Entertainer). Boy, do the jokes completely miss the audience.

A Haunted House feels more like a direct-to-TV movie. Except for a scene where Marlon is washing his body from herpes, I felt like that I was watching something from ten years ago. He has been out of the cinematic game for too long to understand that parodies have changed as well. It’s time that he leaves to go back to clown school. BAD CLOWN!

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I’ll give this one raped stuffed animal out of five. When I walked out of the theater, I felt my I.Q. dropping at least twenty points. The scariest thing was that I actually paid money to see this and I’m therefore, supporting it. This will be in my nightmares for weeks! 

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